Nine Things You Can Do to Improve Your Loved One’s Stay in Prison

Sitting in jail, awaiting trial or the resolution of a case can be one of the most difficult things a defendant in a criminal case can go through. It can really wear at a person’s resolve, even if they feel they are innocent. In cases where a plea agreement has been reached, the worry about sentencing can nearly drive a person crazy.

Family members on the outside often have difficulty knowing what to do to help their loved ones who are in jail. Here are some of the ways you might be able to make their time bearable:


In the days of text messaging, emails, and social media, nobody writes old-fashioned letters anymore. In fact, I’m pretty sure there are going to be kids that don’t even know what that means. But when you are incarcerated, getting a pen-and-paper letter means more than most of them can say. Inmates experience a huge rush of emotions when they see that someone took the time to sit down and write out some words of encouragement. And it is something that they can hang on to throughout their incarceration.

Remember, you should NEVER talk about the case in your letters to your loved one. You should assume that all of the letters that you send are likely to be read by the jail staff and copied to the prosecutor. Even if what you write speaks to their innocence, it still can end up being misconstrued and used to the detriment of the defendant.


One of the biggest problems with jail is that there is nothing but time. Most of the clients I have who are incarcerated are battling with boredom. There isn’t a lot they can do, but they can read. Most jails permit you to send new books directly to the jail from the publisher or from online sellers such as Amazon.There is typically a limit on the number of books that are permitted at one time, so contact the jail about their specific policy before sending any books.


This is particularly important in the beginning of your loved one’s incarceration because they will be without a number of self-care items. They have the ability to order personal care items such as deodorant, shampoo, toothpaste. They will also most likely want to purchase a phone card to communicate with loved ones on the outside.

Food will be another important item to get them through their stint in the jail. Snacks are going to be essential because nothing makes passing the time worse than having to pass the time hungry. Dinner time in jail is usually held around 4:30pm. That’s alright if you went to jail straight from a nursing home, but most human beings are used to eating dinner much later. The wait for the next meal at 6:00am can be brutal if they don’t have anything to munch on in between.


Generally, jails will permit you to bring new, unopened packages of underwear and white t-shirts for your loved one that they can wear underneath their jail uniform. In the winter, some jails also permit them to wear long-john type garments underneath. These items really help your loved one feel like they are not completely gross. The jail will make them go commando if they don’t have enough underwear. It can be cold, uncomfortable, and embarrassing.


Your loved one needs to talk to people on the outside to stay sane. But as tempting as it is to talk about what is happening with their case, DO NOT DO IT. I know that you are curious and want to know what is happening, but if you must know, then you need to find out through their lawyer. Do not ever talk about anything case related when your loved one calls you on the phone from jail. Every single phone call in the jail is recorded, and believe me, they are listening. How do I know that they are listening? Because nothing ruins my day more than when I have a client who hasn’t confessed, is going to trial because they are innocent, and suddenly, I get a tape delivered to my office with a nasty “I-told-you-so” note from the prosecutor letting me know that my client made incriminating statements on a call to his mama. It happens. And it happens on cases where my clients are ACTUALLY innocent.

When you talk about the case, anything you say can and will be taken out of context, twisted up, and spit back out for the prosecutor’s use. It also ruins my day when family members get my client talking about our (secret) case strategy over the phone, and tip the prosecutor off to my winning argument. Criminal cases are always uphill battles. We need all of the advantages we can get. So, don’t go blowing your loved one’s case by talking about it with them on a jail phone.


Most jails only allow for about one visit per week, though some permit more frequent visits. Check with the jail about their visitation policy. Most require you to schedule appointments, so make sure that you do that in plenty of time. Some jails have gone to video visitation, which just kind of sucks. It essentially allows you to show up at the jail and skype with your loved one, as if talking through glass wasn’t bad enough. But, something is better than nothing.


Make sure that their lawyer is seeing them with enough frequency. Our office’s policy is that we see incarcerated clients once per week, even if there is nothing new going on in the case during the past 7 days. It makes them feel significantly better to know they are up to date on the case, even if that means telling them that nothing is currently happening.


It’s easy to get into a bad mindset in the jail. It’s easy to get down in the dumps and depressed. It’s easy to get angry. It’s easy to start feeling sorry for yourself. Whatever your loved one is feeling, try to feel some empathy for them. They are in a difficult environment that would drive most sane people over the edge. Try to give them encouragement, and try not to yell at them for being down in the dumps.


You want your loved one to come home, and soon. So that means hiring the best to be on their side. Nothing makes jail easier than shortening the stay, and having a lawyer fighting for them is the best means to accomplish that.

If you have a loved one who is currently incarcerated and awaiting trial, contact a Grand Rapids criminal defense lawyer at Blanchard Law at (616) 773-2945 to discuss their case.

Related Posts